Hola!!!
(Two
weeks ago as Michael and I were driving to the Provo Town Center Temple, I got
a text from my brother Matt that my dad was in route to the hospital after
suffering a stroke. We immediately changed plans and headed to the emergency
room where we found my mom and dad. We rounded up another Priesthood leader,
and Michael was able to give him a blessing before being transported to Utah
Valley Medical Center. He had surgery this week, and is recovering well at
home. This Wednesday night experience Aimee had, I actually spent the night at
the hospital.)
I have been dying to write you ever since I
read your emails last week. I want to tell you my side of the story. So this is
the story of what happened to me 2 Wednesdays ago (the night grandpa was in the
hospital). That night as I knelt down to say my prayers, randomly I saw the
word DAD flash across my mind and then the image of mom in a hospital room. In
an instant knew something happened at home. I felt really strongly that someone
was in the hospital and I thought it was you dad. I thought for sure that my dad
was in the hospital. That night I have never prayed so long. I was on my knees
praying for 30 minutes. I prayed for peace.
I just know that God is watching over us. He is
here closer than we know. We are connected more than just email. We are connected
more than just blood. We are eternally connected and I know even death cannot
take it away. I just wanted to share this experience because on last Monday
when I read your letters, I put everything together and I was overcome with
peace knowing that God has a plan for us and it is greater than our own. I am
so grateful for you both and I hope you know I love you more than anything. I
love you so much and thank you for always being my guides standing right next
to me even from half a world away.
So we are finishing our first transfer! We received
transfer calls and THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE!! I am staying here in Santa Cruz
and my companion Hermana Revolo is heading down to Talca. She is going to
finish the training of my MTC companion Hermana Owen. How crazy is that!? So I
am getting a new trainer, Hermana Betancur! I think she is from Colombia, but I’m
not sure. She is going to be the sister training leader, so I am so excited to
learn so much! I don’t know really anything about her, but I will have a lot of
new experiences this next week! I have to direct the sector and I am in charge
of the people and kind of leading this area, so I am kind of super nervous but
I know this is going to help me for the rest of my mission which is great!
Anyways, I had such an amazing experience this
week that I have been so excited to share!!!
We are always reciting the 1st vision word for
word starting in verse 16 of Joseph Smith History where it says "I saw a
pillar of light exactly over my head..." you know, the famous 1st vision.
It is super powerful every time and I love the Spirit it brings just reciting
these words. One morning during personal study I felt strongly that I
should read the first vision. So I turned to JSH 1 and instead of just reading
verses 16-17, I started a few verses back. I have read this many times, but for
some reason it hit me really hard this time.
I read about how when Joseph Smith started
praying in the sacred grove and was overcome by darkness. verse 15 says,
"some power which entirely overcame me and had such an astonishing
influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak.." and
then verse 16 says "at that very moment when I was ready to sink into
despair and abandon myself to destruction...just at this moment of great
alarm.....I SAW A PILLAR OF LIGHT". I had forgotten that Joseph Smith
was struggling and it was so hard and he was about to literally fall and give
in but right at the moment he was about to fall completely, God was there with
his pillar of light. As I read this during personal study, it was really
powerful. But it became even more powerful a few hours later.
After personal study, I put my stuff away like
always and put these thoughts in the back of my mind. Then Hermana Revolo and I
were practicing for our lessons and investigators and I was having such a hard
time. I couldn’t understand her Spanish for some reason and I was really struggling
to teach this lesson. Later in the day I felt frustrated with myself and my
companion. I didn’t know why I was struggling so much in what seemed like every
aspect of missionary work. I was struggling with Spanish, patience, lessons,
contacting, my companion, everything. I was struggling with things I felt like I
shouldn’t be struggling with in my 6th week here! But then we went into a
lesson with a family (the family who let me Skype home from their house).
We were teaching them about the temple and
working with them to be able to go through the temple soon! We were teaching
and all of a sudden, my insides started to burn! The Spirit was so so strong.
All of a sudden these words just came to my mind and I started to bear my
testimony of my personal experience of going to the temple ever since I was 12.
How incredible and real it is to do temple work and how we are not alone in the
temple. I talked about how all of our family (cousins, aunts and uncles,
grandparents) go to the temple together and do the temple work for our
ancestors... And then all of us started crying. Like the mom the dad and me and
my companion. The Spirit was so strong and everyone could feel it. There was a
silence, and all I heard was I SAW A PILLAR OF LIGHT. Right then I knew that I
was having those struggles for a reason. It was so hard but in the exact moment
when I didn’t know how I was going to take another lesson of struggling; when I
didn’t want to hear another word of Spanish. Right at the exact moment when I
felt like I was at my worst, in the perfect moment, there was my pillar of
light.
I testify that the Lord is completely and
perfectly aware of you. He knows your struggles and he knows how much you can
handle. When you are at your lowest and then you get knocked down even more
just remember that God will help you. So don’t give up. Don’t doubt. I promise
you that in the perfect moment, you will see a pillar of light.
Con mucho cariño
Hermana Gardanier
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