why I decided to serve a mission

Why did I choose to leave my family for a year and a half?

Why did I willingly take a 4 semester break from school in the middle of my prime education time (sophomore and junior year in college)?

What made me volunteer to be sent anywhere in the world for 18 months?

What brought me to be willing to learn any language?

Why did I agree to only communicate with my family via email once a week?

Why did I agree to only see my family’s faces over skype for 45 minutes twice a year?

Why did I choose to give up holidays, weekends, family vacations, and everything in my personal life?

Why did I throw away my phone and all of my communication tools with my personal life?

I was walking around campus one day and a quote I had seen popped into my mind. 

 I thought about this quote and realized how many people I pass every day. "Better to be the one who smiled than the one who didn't smile back." I decided that my goal for that day was that I would smile at everyone I could until 10 people smiled back. At BYU, it doesn't take long for 10 people to smile back at you, but I couldn't believe how happy it made me to see people smile all because I smiled at them! Then the scripture came into my mind from Seminary about 5 years ago, "And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!" (Doctrine and Covenants 18:15-16). 

     Immediately the thought of a mission came into my mind. I thought about what I was doing at this time in my life and I thought, why not? I went home and thought about everything going on a mission would mean for me and my family. In so many ways, I learned that it really just made sense for me right now logically. That still was not enough evidence for me to know a mission was right for me, but it definitely was a good start! I continued reading the scriptures and found myself not being able to let them go. I can honestly say that the feelings that I had while reading the scriptures while contemplating serving a mission, was the most happiness I have ever felt. I felt peaceful and calm. All I wanted to do was continue reading the Book of Mormon. I decided I wanted to go on a mission. I didn't tell anyone yet because I knew this decision was only between me and Heavenly Father. i set up an appointment with the bishop to start my missionary application. After that interview, I walked home and told my parents that I was going on a mission! 

     No huge bolt of inspiration came to me. No giant sign or incredibly coincidental moment told me that I needed to go on a mission. Through pondering the scriptures and paying attention to how I feel as I have continued along the path of serving a mission, I have come to know that it is good, and it is what God wants me to do. I couldn't picture myself and where I was going to be before I decided to go on a mission. There wasn't a clear picture that I could fill in of where I would be or what I would be doing for the next couple years. I can now picture myself as a missionary. I can see myself leaving for 18 months and dedicating every minute of every day to serving the Lord. 

     I want to share my testimony to people prepared to hear it, and bring the joy and peace of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the lives of many and ultimately the ability to live together with their families. I feel like devoting everything to my Savior and leaving behind my selfish life for eighteen months is a small way to show my gratitude of the blessings I have received and incredible gifts I have been given. I want to be able to devote my whole life to them, but eighteen months is a good start.

               I know that Heavenly Father needs me to be a missionary because he is preparing people somewhere in this world to hear my testimony. I know that I am responsible for the souls I would have saved had I gone on a mission and I know I am responsible for having enough faith to know if I should serve a mission or not. I know that I am meant to serve a mission, and I will.

                More than anything, this gospel brings peace and true happiness and I want everyone to feel what I feel. The Spirit brings me comfort and peace throughout the amazing times in my life as well as the days where I feel like I am going nowhere. The spirit has testified to me that this gospel is true and reminds me every day that I am truly a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me. 

     My heart aches when I think about the fact that there are people in this world who do not know they are sons and daughters of a king! I can’t imagine how unbearable it must be to lose a family member or loved one without knowing they will be able to see each other again. I hate to even think about those on this Earth who don’t know who they are and what their purpose is in this life. My soul mourns for those who have never heard of Jesus Christ and the amazing gift of the Atonement he has given to each one of us. I want to find these people and help them find happiness in the gospel. I want to serve a mission because I love my brothers and sisters on this earth and I want them all to one day live with Heavenly Father again, just like I want to.

                I love this gospel so much that I want to share with the world that I know it is true. I want to represent Jesus Christ and do what he would do on this Earth as if he were beside me constantly. I want others to see me and truly desire to have what I have and know what I know.